Tuesday, May 26, 2009

A Sad Day

It is with a very heavy heart that I have to let you know that I have miscarried.

I went in for a routine checkup, but she couldn't find a heartbeat with the doppler. Because I have an interior placenta, she figured that was the reason, but had to send me to my delivery doctor for an u/s anyways...

In a way that only mother's can feel, I already KNEW what was going to be discovered...as soon as that little peanut came on the screen, i could tell there was no heartbeat and turned away...

My doctor was speechless and can't figure out what happened. I have no history of problems, we had a great u/s 2 weeks ago. He determined based on the baby's size that it died within a mere 10 days. The doctor thinks it could have been anything from anemia, to a knotted cord (seth had that), to an infection or ??? He thinks it might even be related to my RH factor. He wonders if they should have given me one more shot...I am going to be having a lot of tests done and will be in the hospital for my D&C on Friday.

I'm super emotional as I've had an inner "intuition" that I was not going to carry this bean full term and to find out that my intuition was right...well, it's almost more then I can handle right now.

My husband works in Cincinnati Monday-Wednesday, but is going to be coming home tonight even if he has to go back in tomorrow. My mom is devasted and with my blessing is hopping a plane (from WA) and will be arriving tomorrow to help me through this upcoming week.

I know you all will be thinking and praying about me and my family. Those prayers are dearly needed and desired. I know that God will provide me with the strength I need to put one foot in front of the other and move forward...but I am just in a state of grieving right now and trying not to blame myself for "feeling" like I was going to lose the baby...

Seth is very perceptive and wouldn't rest until he knew why I was sad. After telling him "the doctor told mommy the baby died" he thought about it and then said (in a way only 3 year olds do) "well you and daddy will have to grow another one."

Thanks for being here for me...I probably won't be on very much until we get things worked out and I am ready to look outward. I am going to delay my blogoversary celebration until things are little more even keel around here.

I know this was all in God's plans and that He is here with me every step of the way.

14 Words of Love:

Tenia Nelson said...

Oh my....I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how you feel right now. I will keep you and your family in my prayers,hun.
Tenia

Christi said...

My prayers are with you and your family. I too have lost a baby and I know how painful it is. Please try not to blame yourself for any of this and take this time to take care of you. Big {{HUGS}} and know that I am here for you.

Cassie said...

my heart goes out to you lisa! i remember how excited you were when you announced it. may you continue to feel God's love and support as you and your family grieve.

Sprytebyrd said...

I'm so sorry to hear this, Lisa! I can only imagine what you must be going through, and I am glad that your Mom is on her way to be with you. Please know that I am thinking of you and my Mom and Hubby both send their condolences and love. Big hugs for you, your hubby and Seth, wish I could do more. Love ya, sweetie!

Anita Hovey said...

Lisa, I am so sad to hear your news...I suffered through several miscarriages and I do understand how you feel...especially the part about knowing with Mother's Intutition before the Dr. could tell you. I'm glad your Mom is coming to be with you...my Mom did too one time and it was an enormous comfort. I will be thinking of you.

Toothy said...

Oh Lisa, I am in tears over hear. I am so sorry for your loss. Let me know if you need anything. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

NormaJean said...

oH LISA IM SO SO SORRY
BIG HUGS AND LOVE
Norma

Carisa said...

I'm sorry, hun. Don't beat yourself up too much. We all have that little inner voice - some of us are just more in tune with it. *hugs*

Mrs Weyremaster said...

So sorry to read of your loss Lisa, you and your family are in my prays.
God Bless
Suzi
xxx

Caryn said...

Lisa sweetheart, I am so sorry for your loss. I don't what to say other than my thought and prayers are with you and your family. If only we could all view such sad things the same way a 3 year old does! Take care of yourself hunny.

Hugs,
Caryn xxx

Katie Cotton said...

i am praying for you and for God's arms to surround you during this time.

scrappypug said...

i am so sorry to hear this... keeping you and your family in my prayers.

Creations By Toni said...

I am so sorry for your loss. I do not know what you are going through but just know that my prayers are with you and your family during this difficult time. (((HUGS)))

ivy said...

so sad reading this........

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